I Feel Your Pain

Things are quiet from my end lately. Life, however, is loud. The waves of change and challenge are crashing down. With a slow emotional reflex, I am trying to deal with it. My mother and one of my good friends are dealing with the hardball of cancer. While both of them vocalize assurances of “I’m-ok-isms “those of us on the sidelines stand idle, not really knowing what to do. We are simply stuck on the mountain in low gear, foot on the brakes.

The sidelines are a tough place to be. You are not in the action. You are not being poked, prodded, zapped, and forced into MRI tunnels. Far from the action, yet you suffer from malaise, frustration and lethargy? It is not your body filled with chemo, radiation or pain. But yet you stand by just hoping to do or just say the right thing.

So, I’ve decided to amp it up! My mother needs me to help her think through the realities of her future. So I need to start thinking, better, smarter, faster. My friend and I are writing a book and right now she is dealing with energy swings post-chemo. But, I can certainly put pen to paper and keep our dream alive. As of today, I am getting off the bench. We are a team and when one is down, the other rises to keep things going.

This is the blessing of love and relationship. It took me aback for a moment, but I am taking my foot off the breaks. I will continue forward a little slower, but much steadier. I am not interested in my Ferrari styled high gear. But I am moving none-the-less, for them both. I now understand the saying “I feel your pain”.